Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Week 3 Nominees

What's the word? I'm anticipating quite a few from you guys this week. Some of the better teams went down because of some crappy shit.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Week 2 Ho Stable: Tom Brady

Listen up, Tyra Banks! America's Next Top Model, Tom Brady, is fukin' up, for real.

This is a man that is afraid to take a hit. He might mess up his pretty face, and with such shitty stats in week 2, it's obvious he's turned to another career, as a male model/pansy.

TOM: Sit your ass down and let your wife handle the modeling duties. She is clearly much better at it than you are: shit she's even booking major ad campaigns while she's knocked up. You need to focus on football: Throw a few touchdowns, stop throwing interceptions, and stop running for the sidelines every time you see a defensive end running your way. And if you must fucking model, put on the goddamn Stetson hat! That will please everybody.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Week 2 Nominees

Leave 'em here. Make 'em good.

Week 1 Ho Stable: Leodis McKelvin

The quintessential sign that someone should be riding the pine or fucking cut from the team is when they do something insanely stupid and then say they would do it again. That person is Leodis McKelvin. Really, dude? It's not that you fumbled, that happens in 90% of games by even the best players. But saying you would do it again is fucking retarded and everyone knows it.

LEODIS - Sit your punk ass down. No one knew who you were until you fumbled away victory. You do not have to be the hero when your team is already winning. Here's a tip: when the team you are playing just marched down the field in less than a minute and everyone is concerned they will get the ball back, take the fucking knee in the endzone. That's what a hero would do.

No wonder a bunch of kids vandalized your house. No, really. If I were a Bills fan (and thank god I'm not), I would have been right there with them. It's a good thing you refused to press charges. I doubt a jury in Buffalo (or anywhere - it's principle really) would have convicted them. They probably would have convicted you somehow. That's something we can all get behind.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Week 1 Nominees

New season, new bitches. Leave your nominees here!