Listen up, Tyra Banks! America's Next Top Model, Tom Brady, is fukin' up, for real.
This is a man that is afraid to take a hit. He might mess up his pretty face, and with such shitty stats in week 2, it's obvious he's turned to another career, as a male model/pansy.
TOM: Sit your ass down and let your wife handle the modeling duties. She is clearly much better at it than you are: shit she's even booking major ad campaigns while she's knocked up. You need to focus on football: Throw a few touchdowns, stop throwing interceptions, and stop running for the sidelines every time you see a defensive end running your way. And if you must fucking model, put on the goddamn Stetson hat! That will please everybody.