Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Week 3 Nominees

What's the word? I'm anticipating quite a few from you guys this week. Some of the better teams went down because of some crappy shit.


Adam said...

You wanted them, you got them:

Drew Blows - QB, N'awlens Saints. He has thrown for 9 TDs and 2 Ints the first 2 weeks. Those are fantastic numbers. His week 3 opponent - the Buffalo Bills. They aren't know for shit (except for living in a cold ass place). So Brees can pick them apart, right? After all, 6 TDs against Detroit and 3 TDs against Philadelphia. Against Terrible Owens' newest bitch buddy - 0 TDs. 0! 172 yards of passing, and 1 fumble! I'm going to try really fucking hard to forget this.

Tony Gonzalez - Tight Ass, Atlanta. 16 yards. 16 yards. That bears repeating. 16 yards. Previously - 71 yards, 1 TD; 73 yards, 1 TD. There was a pattern developing here you pussy! Stick to it!

Darren Sproles, Pussy, San Diego ... Super Chargers! You got the starting job, not LT in your way this week! The spotlight is on you! What do you do with it? 41 rushing yards and 14 passing yards.

Pittsburgh Defense. Ok guys, you don't like me, and I don't like you. I'm born and raised in Cleveland, Ohio, but you're the fucking steel curtain defense! Right? Blue collar town? Well, your city losses jobs, your blue collar workers leave down, and apparently took your testicles with them! You lost to the Cincinnati Bengals! Yes, those Cincinnati Bengals! The team that stars Chad Ochocinco! Hang you head in shame. In fact, turn in you Super Bowl trophy! You don't deserve it.

My last nomination is quite painful for me, and quite personal ...

The Cleveland Browns. Period.

Now that the Lions have you, are you officially the worst goddamn team in the NFL, perhaps on the planet. 3 games. 0 wins. 29 points for (31st in league); 95 points against (worst in league). You have scored more than 6 points only once! You have scored only one offensive touchdown this year. Fuck, you have scored only one offensive touchdown in the past 9 games (not coincidentally, you have lost your last 9 games). You haven't beaten Baltimore since at least 2006. You haven't beaten the Steelers since 1789. Your coach is a fucking joke. The team is a fucking joke. "All these little kids growing up at watching the Browns going 'Cleveland Sucks! Cleveland Sucks!"

Mike_in_MD said...

The front runner for the ho stable is The Washington Redskins. I am definitely not a fan, but I live in the middle of "Skins Nation", so am inundated with Skins fans, talk, paraphernalia on a daily basis. Well, the lowly Detroit Lions had to beat someone, so why did it have to be you. You spent money to get Haynesworth and D. Hall, but you can't even get a win. Not to mention you almost lost to the sucky Rams. No wonder your fans hate you. Danny boy needs to be ran out for these poor decisions.