Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Week 1 Ho Stable: Braylon Edwards

Even Braylon seems confused by his shitty performance.This was not the best week for hoes. Personally, I'm all pissed off at Tom Brady, who will definitely be sitting his ass down (and out) for the whole season. Maybe if he spent more time conditioning and less time cavorting around New York carrying Gisele's purse, he'd be aight. The coveted HSD! award does not go to people who get hurt, however, even if they appear in Stetson ads and refuse to wear the Stetson hat. Geez, what a bitch!

No, our first winner this year is another Michigan grad, Braylon Edwards. This is a man whose website opens to cheering applause and a cartoon version of himself. This is a man who bragged before the Olympics that he would more than double Phelps’ gold-medal total with touchdown catches. Yeah, right. First he needs to try doubling his total in mere yards, then he can move on to touchdowns.
No, Braylon Edwards needs to sit his ass down. 2 receptions - 14 yards - 1 Fantasy point - that's pretty weak sauce by anyone's standards. It was Patently Not Awesome. Yeah, Ocho Cinco (yeah, that's some stupid shit) didn't do much better but his dumb ass didn't drop a bunch of passes either. No, Braylon should spend a little bit less time appearing in Essence Magazine looking for chicks and more time at practice catching and securing the football.


Jeff said...

"It was Patently Not Awesome"

You're telling me!

Adam said...

Braylon, Braylon, Braylon. Braylon. Braylon, this is God, WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO ON SUNDAY? 14 yards? You know people count on your dumbass for fantasy points, and you're going to pull this shit? You better pull in about 200 yards and 3 TDs next Sunday against Pittsburgh, or your ass may be looking at the HSD Award for the season ... after only 2 weeks!

wife of a football fan said...

Braylon should win the HSD award for the season...He was finally cited for speeding at 120 mph on I-90 in Avon, Ohio. Did he think he was above the law, or just a flaming dumb ass...Even michigan drivers stay under 100 mph!