Monday, September 22, 2008

Week 3: The Nominations Continue

Week 3: time to add more workers to the stable.


Adam said...

So many people to be pissed off at this week. Let's get started.

1. Willie Parker, RB, Pittsburgh Steelers. Nevermind the fact that, growing up in Cleveland, I fucking hate the Steelers (and it also means I don't how to pick a winning team), but remember this mother fucker rushed for 3 TDs in Week 1. How many since? Try none! And this week in particular? 20 lousy fucking yards. Nice job fuck nut.

2. Kellen Winslow, TE, Cleveland Browns. Again, I know how to root for winner, and I'm nominating him, not just for the reason that a Cleveland player has been nominated the first two weeks (and won Week One HSD), but Mr. Motorcycle caught only 14 yards. Ugh.

3. New England Patriot Defense. The ALMIGHTY NE Defense, Bill BelichEk's brainchild. FUCK BILL, FUCK RANDY MOSS, AND FUCK ALL OF BOSTON FOR THAT MATTER. 38 points allowed. 38 points allowed. Ronnie Brown accounted for 30 of them! 4 rushing TDs, 1 passing TD. I mean, Jesus! I think the Syracuse University DEF could have played better.

4. Ben Worthlisburger, QB, Pittsburgh Steelers. For somebody who spent nearly the entire game on his ass after being sacked so many times, Brilliant Ben passed for an Earth shattering 131 yards, rushed for 7, but was picked off once and fumbled twice.

5. Plexiglas Burress, crybaby WR, New York Giants. A modern day MeShawn Johnson, "just give me the goddamn ball." Fuck you Plexiglas, fucking former Spartan. You want the ball, but you only caught 45 yards worth. Fuck off assholes.

6. Finally, I nominate myself. I lost by about 14 points, to a guy who didn't even play a DEF. If that's not bad enough, let's look at what I could have done. QB started (16 pts); QB on the bench (26 pts). One of my starting RB (2 pts); my other 3 RBs on the bench (24, 20, and 20 pts). So, I could have earned a minimum of 28 more points. Yeah, I'm telling my own ho ass to sit down. Fuck, I'm pathetic.

Mike_in_MD said...

1. Randy Moss......It's nothing personal against you, but I am going to have to sit you down. I mean, you can't catch balls that are not thrown at you. You are officially handcuffed to Stetson man. 2 fantasy points is not going to cut it in the starting line-up. Your defense was sitting around watching the Ronnie Brown show, so I feel your pain. Well, at least the "kicking game" for the Patriots was competitive, but that's about it.

2. Hines Ward.....see Ben Roethlisberger. Well, since your QB was horizontal most of the game, it was hard for any passes to be thrown your way. I'm going to call this a one game fluke and hope you rebound back with than your 3 point performance of this week. Eagles defense always shine through at least one game a year and this was it.

3. I gotta throw myself in the mix. True, I won my game, but for some reason I made some moves and didn't have a defense starting. The Jags turned in 11 points that I will never get back. Add that to the fact that I had Ronnie Brown on the bench and I would have had total dominance with that lineup. Oh well, live and learn.
Honorable mention to Yahoo Fantasy Sports again for no real-time updates. Also CBS sports for not showing a 1:00 game 2 weeks in a row. I need 2 games at a time to support my ADHD and OCD.

Matt said...

1. Jake Delhomme. -2.26 for: 191 yds, 5 sacks, 3 fumbles, 2 lost.

2. Adam's 6 point nomination.

Adam said...

I further nominate our commissioner for not handing out the Week 3 award. It's Friday already. Week 4 is 48 hours away.